I know today is not mother’s day. But there need not have to be some special days to cherish the people whom you love the most. Yeah, this is a post for my mom , for all the moms who have their lives and loves only for their kids. Better to start this post with these line ,
“There is a cord between us yet not cut,
On it we like tight rope walkers novices,
Uncertain of the net take tentative steps across the gulf,
Towards one another careful,
Not wishing to turn back hopeful,
That keeping balance we can meet,
Can embrace and pass each other as we must. ”
Most of the time , I misunderstood and i thought that i and you (my mom) have absolutely nothing in common.
I thought we are total opposites..But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I obviously do but sometimes I feel that you doesn’t understand why I’m not still afraid of boys, why I don’t tell you everything and why I remain cool even at important times. I thought my friends knew me better . I like to chat with my friends more, get up and sleep off in social networking sites. but you don’t. sometimes i thought you never understand my feelings. so , i went to my friends for advice and consolance and i thought they kept me alive. but after having this convo with you today , i understood i am wrong . (the conversation between me and my mom..here it goes: )
ME: mom…(she was in the kitchen) so what are you doing now?
MOM: don’t know? you asked me potato crisps na? i’m ripping off it’s skin. god should not put me in hell for tearing the skin of a poor creature. (she laughs at her own joke (!!!!) ).
ME: poor mom..potatoes won’t cry when you peel it’s skin. they have no feelings. (yeah , kids speak like they know more scientific stuffs than their moms)
MOM: so what? if they don’t cry it doesn’t mean they don’t feel pain!. you remember what happened when you go off to granny’s home leaving your rose plant unwatered? it didn’t bloom for the next half month. even these creatures also feel pains, separations and all . (moms speak philosophically better when their kids take on them scientifically)
i wanted to ask my mom that one question for which i have been in her kitchen .
ME: so , mom have you ever dreamt of doing something great in life? have you ever had a strong passion for doing anything in your life?
MOM: (looking at me puzzled) what? dreams? you mean those we have when we sleep? (ok, my mom acts better)
ME: mo..m… stop your silly jokes. (yeah i lost my temper) do you ever had dreams about what you wanted to do in your life? (i wanted to decipher what my mom wanted to do all her life )
MOM: umm… yeah!!! I wanted to see my daughter as a successful surgeon and i also dreamt that my daughter should be the first person from my family to reach the stars and there should come a day where she speaks and the rest listen to her….
ME: mom…i asked have you ever dreamt anything for you? don’t you wish to do something great in your life? (I wonder how mom lives without a dream for her? how could be there some people without any passion or thirst for doing great? )
MOM: well. dream of me/ dream for me? I always dream that my kids and husband should be in the pink of health.
I also wish that i should be in the position to serve them all my life and…..
ME: mom…stop it! (yeah..i lost it completely) why you care for people like this? just understand you have only one life and go live it..and here you are…you don’t have a single dream or passion that you want to do in your life?
MOM: (still maintaining all her calm) well…if dreamt is about one’s self..then , i want to be the mother of….the proud mother of a girl who will do great things in her life. I want to be the proud wife of a man who will stand as living example for all other dads on this earth. these are my dreams..i never dreamt anything for me separately . you are my concern and my dream that i never wanted to get off from it .
She looked at me innocently checking my face whether i’m satisfied with her answer.
ME: (can’t even utter a single word to her. just came back from the kitchen with tears welling up in my eyes)
well there is popular quote “I never believe in love at first sight at first , cause I love my mom since i opened my eyes”.
even i didn’t believe how can a person just live all their life for others? i thought it requires a lots of sacrifice..but when my mom told me that answer. it all become clear to me that “real joy and fun lies when we live for others” .
yeah, a wannabe proud mom she is and now i’m the poor who never understood the valuable possession she had. By this fall i moving away far for my studies. i know none will love , care , protect me like the way you did. there will be none to look deep into my eyes to find out the truth when my lips just utter the fake words “hey..i’m ok”. none will understand my feelings like the way you did. you made me realise how awesome it is to be loved by someone special like you.The things i knew about you are less when compared with those stuffs that i knew about my friends. I spent tons of time with my friends to hear their hanky-panky stories but never ade time to hear your dreams. the only thing that i wanna tell you now is not “sorry” but:
“mom..Thank you for being a good wife to my dad.
Thank you for being a good daughter to my grand pa,
Thank you for being my mom and making “me” as “ME”.
I don’t know whether i can be a better mom like you or not but i contribute my part in fulfilling your dreams – A PROUD MOTHER. ”
PS: i love you a lot mom and i will miss you every moment when i’m not with you. hugs and loves.